The two things Americans worship
Well it’s the day after the beginning of the new year, and a day after Sunday. So what are those ever vigilant journalists and newspapers showcasing? Yup, football results and the first babies of ‘06. Yippee fucking skippee.
It’s crazy, when you go to the Newseum website and look at today’s front pages from around the country: they’re largely about a football team and/or some white trash that birfed a baby.
Surely there’s other things to feature besides football and new year babies!? How about new year abortions? On the front page you could have a sonogram of a fetus throwing up ‘the horns’, as if saying, “Sayonara, amigos!”, while a medical instrument scrambles its brains!? I mean, something! C’mon!
Or show the first puppy of the year… whatever’ll please the most readers.
