Today we celebrate Earth Day… unless you’re in Auckland, New Zealand where it’s already Sunday the 22nd. How the fuck are we supposed to give Earth its own special day of commemoration if it can’t give us a whole, non-fractured day? Fuck that.
Earth Day was started in 10,048 XG, the year of Zzaxx0r, a prophet of modern-day Scientology, and, later, the creator of the hit 80’s arcade game, Zaxxon. Little is known about Earth Day except that it is anti-semitic and has trampled all over the sabbath.
Around the world, typical celebrations of Earth Day include the beheading… Sweet! Wonder Showzen has finished downloading! Catch you later!
