what's iphone'n':
Four
Tomorrow is the season premiere of Lost and I couldn’t be more guammed. It’s gonna be so guammin’ to have a good show airing during the writer’s strike, let alone that show being Lost. I mean, guam! They’re finally getting off that island!
But you’d be a guammed guam fool to believe they’re getting off the island right away or even at all. The people who are coming have made it clear that they’re not focused on rescuing people, but finding the island (I’m positing).
So how do we refer to these new visitors? The other others? Others from different mothers? The thems? “Don’t trust her! She’s one of them.” It’ll be interesting to see how Ben & co. interacts with these boaties.
Find out Thursday! And for the next 6 weeks straight! Pray for a quick writers strike resolution… or for the quick shipment of Robo-Writer 6000’s from my factory! We accept checks!
You there! The depraved one! Clicketh upon my linketh of glory and salvation, for you shall be reborn into the light and salvationized from the wretched darkness whence you whenced.
Behold, the mighty link of Lost, recapping seasons 1, 2, and 3 (iTunes required).
One of the commenters mentioned that this is available in other places too, like proabably ABC’s website. I just know of this iTunes one – but you can download this version and save it. As it will save you.
Like the others on the Lost island telling the castaways that the people on the boat are bad news, I think media distribution is headed to a worse hell. While watching Lost Missing Pieces from ABC.com, I noticed that not only are you submitted to their ads from Verizon, you can’t control the playback of your video. If you missed what someone said, you have to wait until the video is over, probably watch another ad from Verizon (see I even remembered the company) and then, get to watch your video again.
I saw a headline the other day that our buddies in Redmond, Microsoft, were working on patenting a technology that would make it impossible to skip ads in digital media. Great. The ship off the coast is not Penny’s boat, Naomi has a Locke thrown knife in her back, and the easy times of fast-forwarding through commercials is coming to a halt.
Namaste.
OHMG! OMG! MOGMYGOD! MY GOD OH!!1!!
I just naturally assume, from my veteran years of tv watchin’ and speed watchin, that Lost will be good and enjoyable in it’s upcoming years, but that I’ll always be looking back and thinking, “season 1, that was the best of times. The show came outta nowhere and floored you.” But after watching this trailer, albeit a dramatically cut trailer, could it be that the best years of Lost have yet to come? Heaven and Dharma help us if that’s true.
Tee-hee! It tickles!
Part of an ongoing series, OMFG Heroes Sucks Ass will cover the many ways the show ass-sucks.
Part 1—OMFG How Fuckin’ Stupid
Okay, so the cheerleader chick can heal really fast—that doesn’t mean the shit don’t hurt like a motherfucker! Shit! Maybe her brain is the one thing that can’t heal, but healing aside, sticking your hand in boiling water is going to be utterly excruciating, not just slightly wince-inducing. “Owwies… Here’s your ring.” How fucking stupid. (For those unfamiliar with the scene: Claire’s stupid mom drops her dumb-ass ring into a pot of fuck-all boiling water, and with a cunty look on her face to convey thought, Claire decides to stick her non-invulnerable, but quick-healing hand into the water.) There. I’ve just lowered your I.Q.
Stay tuned for the next installment of this ongoing series. Part 2 will probably be called OMFG How Fuckin’ Stupid, too, because the whole show Heroes is just plain fuckin’ stupid.
Update I’m trying to choke down the third episode of this second season to find other dumb-ass shit, but I’d have to transcribe the entire episode. There’s a lot of eyebrows in this one.
Satan Kicks out Crocodile Hunter for not wearing a costume
South Park keeps fighting the good fight. Despite the hubbub over the appearance of Steve Irwin, South Park lampooned another of society’s ills: MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen. Previously they made fun of those nerds who have nothing better to do than to hassle other players in the computer game World of Warcraft. Now they’re making fun of those super rich, stuck-up princesses who are completely delusional about their own self-importance.
In the episode, the effeminate Satan wants to throw a huge Halloween party, like the ones on My Super Sweet Sixteen. In the first step of appearing cool, he invites a bunch of celebrities at the expense of alienating some friends. Next, he declares no one can show up to the costume party dressed as The Crow since all parties seem to have “14 guys show up dressed as The Crow because they want to look hot and hook up.” Of course Satan’s costume is The Crow. However he forces one of his henchman demons to switch with him because the demon’s schoolgirl outfit is deemed hotter. Numerous other hissy fits are thrown, like when his Ferrari cake is replaced by an Acura cake because the three stooges, Dahmer, Gacy and Ted Bundy, messed up their delivery job. The Ferrari cake was chosen because “Diddy didn’t do it” (at one of his partys).
Eventually Satan settles down and realizes how truly awful he’s been acting, which is to say that all of those girls on My Super Sweet Sixteen are worse than the Prince of Darkness. Sounds about right.
Heroes, on NBC
If you suspect a co-worker is a hero and a space-time bender (no wonder your breaks seem so short!), watch their face. If you see them sitting in their cubicle making this face, then they are:
- a hero, contact the authorities at once
- trying to shit their pants, contact the authorities at once
Either way, it’s best to just call security. He might teleport that shitty chair into your cubicle!
If you see someone flying around, forget about it. It’s the shit-chair teleporters you need to worry about!
